“Anything is possible when you have the right people there to support you.” -Misty Copeland
One third of teens in the US experience relationship abuse, and this is likely an underestimate due to the fact that it is a very under-reported issue. What does this mean? If you yourself do not experience dating violence as a teen, it is extremely likely you will know at least one person who has experienced it. So, if you are likely to know someone experiencing it, you should be prepared and knowledgeable about how to be there for them and offer support.
There are a number of ways that you can help a friend who is experiencing relationship abuse. The first thing to remember when speaking to a friend about what they are going through is to never blame or judge them. This is commonly referred to as victim blaming, and it will not help your friend in any sense. It will, however, likely make them feel isolated and guilty about something they did not cause and cannot stop. Instead, listen and be supportive. Allow them to tell their story (as much of it as they feel comfortable). Ask if there is anything you can do to help. Show them you will be there for them and are there only to support them. A common misconception many people have when it comes to speaking to a victim of dating abuse is that they should tell the victim to leave the relationship. Although this may seem productive and may be good advice, it will not really help the person experiencing the abuse. This is because, chances are, they already know they should leave. That is not the problem. They know they should leave, but it isn’t that simple, and it is terrifying since abuse typically increases in severity when a victim tries to leave the relationship. Instead, you can offer resources such as the MyPlan app or a dating violence hotline number, both of which provide resources and individual support for victims of relationship abuse that empower them to leave their abusive relationships in as safe a way as possible.
The most important thing to remember when speaking with a friend who is experiencing relationship abuse is that talking about the issue is a huge step in the right direction, even if the person does not yet feel able to leave the relationship. The best things you can do are: offer support and be understanding, do not judge or victim blame, and be ready to offer resources. By doing these things you can help your friend feel supported and loved while they face a very difficult issue.
Until Next Time,
Lindsey