So What Is Consent?

“You need a yes without duress and nothing less will do.” - Ms. Moem

So many times in my life I have heard people say that consent is difficult because it has grey areas, times when people weren’t sure if something was consent. I have thought about this issue a lot, and have come to the conclusion that there do not have to be grey areas. If we teach people about consent from a young age, and instill in them an understanding of its importance, there will not be any grey area. There will simply be things that are consent, and things that aren’t, and everyone will know what is what.

So what is consent? Consent is when a person gives permission for something to happen (in this case sex). This permission has to be freely given, and not given when under the influence. People that are asleep, drunk, or otherwise intoxicated, can not give consent. Consent also can not be coerced. If you have to convince someone to say yes, then it is not consent. Consent is not continuous, which means that at any time, it can be revoked, and it has to be given every single time. Just because a person gave consent last week or yesterday does not mean they have given consent today. Even if you are in a relationship and have previously had consensual sex, both partners must still give consent each time. Lastly, consent should be enthusiastic. A “maybe”, “I guess”, or “I’m not sure”, are not consent.

If we all are taught these things, understand these concepts, and practice them in our own lives and relationships, then consent should be clear. There should be no grey area, and by eliminating that grey area, we are making it very clear what is sex, and what is sexual assault.

If you would like to check out a great video about consent, here is the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGoWLWS4-kU

Until Next Time,

Lindsey Slama